Everything is swirling. It's the dead of the night and I suddenly feel a surge of writing madness, the tips of my veiny fingers just itching to type on my noisy, rain-drop sounding keyboard. I am tired, but my hands are detached from my brain- they are not listening, just endlessly moving, dancing...
My spasm was kinda generated by Josiah's hardly ever updated weblog. In his last entry he expressed the hope of being promoted to a Warrant Officer (it has been a week since he was promoted, congrats Josiah, but we can see how updated your blog is). Then, my brain then immediatly flashbacked to Jeremy and his entry about not the rank and about having the character that is important. (that is really one inspiring entry, go read it)
Then I kinda think about my path. Will I be as committed to the Boys' Brigade as I thought I would be when I just entered in the puny life of a Sec 1? Of course I never really expressed my thoughts to anyone in the BB except some but, then there's this weirdish barrier- preventing me from letting the enthusiasm I once had burst out of me. Is it the short term excitement that has left my very soul? Or is it just another one of God's fateful tests.
I have been bombarded with commitments and responsiblilities this few months. I haven't been balancing them very well- although I know that I can, with time management. However I have pretty much failed- failing the Lagebra test which I had put so much concentration on. I kinda felt discouraged- mugging for such a long time and yet receiving such pathetic results. (Sorry but this might be a little offensive) but I really hate it when people say that Maths is such an easy subject yada yada yada. I mean everyone has ups and downs in their characters and talents. So you can pretty much shut up at mine downs. (this is, a general remark and not targeted at anyone in particular)
Back to my path. Will I still make my presence in the Monitors' Council next year? And be in the EXCO? Will I be able to handle such heavy responsibilities and cope with working with a batch of monitors I hardly know except for the occassional hellos and slaps of high fives? Will I be able to lead as well I as I thought I would when I was first asked to be in the EXCO whatever?
Media! Media! Probably the stressful element and drainage system of my current life. Of course being in Media has its perks (as Mdm Taz frequently uses to encourage us)- being able to influence the school, being able to decide who gets to go into the publications, being able to take photos and get extra privileges that others don't get. But, is it worth it? I mean yes. But am I able to withstand yet another test of this short term interest? Staying in school everyday till quite late is no joke. Unlike "Campers" who saty in school to study, I am facing a computer screen. And it's pretty tiringat times all the time.
Then I worry about my studies. The horrible truth about streaming is that is very hard to change your path if you decide that the path you chose is too rocky for your taste. Others might have better to shoes to walk with but you might be walking on that very same rocky path barefoot, thus wanting to change a path that suits you better (maybe a sandy beach or something).
Really in a dilemma right now. 8 out of the 10 people I know rather I go to the science stream than the arts stream. "follow your heart" Yarh right, easier said than done. What if what you chose doesn't suit you at all, and you end up screwing yourself up. Well done Weng Keong. Well done.
Everything should be in the hands of god. Everything.
Should.
My spasm was kinda generated by Josiah's hardly ever updated weblog. In his last entry he expressed the hope of being promoted to a Warrant Officer (it has been a week since he was promoted, congrats Josiah, but we can see how updated your blog is). Then, my brain then immediatly flashbacked to Jeremy and his entry about not the rank and about having the character that is important. (that is really one inspiring entry, go read it)
Then I kinda think about my path. Will I be as committed to the Boys' Brigade as I thought I would be when I just entered in the puny life of a Sec 1? Of course I never really expressed my thoughts to anyone in the BB except some but, then there's this weirdish barrier- preventing me from letting the enthusiasm I once had burst out of me. Is it the short term excitement that has left my very soul? Or is it just another one of God's fateful tests.
I have been bombarded with commitments and responsiblilities this few months. I haven't been balancing them very well- although I know that I can, with time management. However I have pretty much failed- failing the Lagebra test which I had put so much concentration on. I kinda felt discouraged- mugging for such a long time and yet receiving such pathetic results. (Sorry but this might be a little offensive) but I really hate it when people say that Maths is such an easy subject yada yada yada. I mean everyone has ups and downs in their characters and talents. So you can pretty much shut up at mine downs. (this is, a general remark and not targeted at anyone in particular)
Back to my path. Will I still make my presence in the Monitors' Council next year? And be in the EXCO? Will I be able to handle such heavy responsibilities and cope with working with a batch of monitors I hardly know except for the occassional hellos and slaps of high fives? Will I be able to lead as well I as I thought I would when I was first asked to be in the EXCO whatever?
Media! Media! Probably the stressful element and drainage system of my current life. Of course being in Media has its perks (as Mdm Taz frequently uses to encourage us)- being able to influence the school, being able to decide who gets to go into the publications, being able to take photos and get extra privileges that others don't get. But, is it worth it? I mean yes. But am I able to withstand yet another test of this short term interest? Staying in school everyday till quite late is no joke. Unlike "Campers" who saty in school to study, I am facing a computer screen. And it's pretty tiring
Then I worry about my studies. The horrible truth about streaming is that is very hard to change your path if you decide that the path you chose is too rocky for your taste. Others might have better to shoes to walk with but you might be walking on that very same rocky path barefoot, thus wanting to change a path that suits you better (maybe a sandy beach or something).
Really in a dilemma right now. 8 out of the 10 people I know rather I go to the science stream than the arts stream. "follow your heart" Yarh right, easier said than done. What if what you chose doesn't suit you at all, and you end up screwing yourself up. Well done Weng Keong. Well done.
Everything should be in the hands of god. Everything.
Should.
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