Lebensraum

It has been a long year since I have reunited with my paternal family for a dinner or something. I tend to be a quiet sort on my paternal side, which is quite amazing sometimes, probably because of the lack of contact and frequency of these gatherings. Still, I can find the family togetherness and family warmth every year when I visit the uncle/aunty's house (or mine) for the traditional, authentic reunion dinner. And the routine would be quite the same, though not blase because of the unfrequent rituals.

This year's chuxi or eve dinner was held had cousin Janice's house. It was pretty fun- watched the entire Lord Of The Rings episode 2 which was super long becuase their DVD had the deleted scenes as well so it was probably bout 4 hours. Me, a non-avid fan of LOTR didn't sit through it of course. I helped out with some domestic stuff, flipped through the pages of Falling Leaves- permission-ungrantedly taken from a bookshelf, twiddled with my passe phone, talked, ate the peach cheesecake that was on the table. In other words I didn't watch the entire movie.

Then we proceeded to watch Shrek 2. In catonese. My family has gone weirdly cantonese (although it is the fact that we are a catonese family). Ever since my grandma passed away, the lack of practice has led my brilliant catonese conversation skills to dwindle. To this date I can only speak a limited number of phrases and having to ask Eric to repeat himself everytime we converse in Cantonese because of his pronto hongkonger mouth. Esther also said dai ka seg instead of the traditionally and authentically produced Everybody eat at family dinners. (It is chinese custom to call your elders to eat before starting on your meal. As practiced, the younger ones will call every elder one by one but due to instant gratification, one by one has metamorphosised to everybody eat.) And after speaking that Cantonese phrase she remarked, "see my cantonese so good already!"

We played Monopoly after finishing Shrek2 with all the additional videos packed in the DVD which included "Far Far Away Idol" with all the characters competing with the animated Simon in the clip together with the ability to vote for your own Idol (although your vote determines everything... although not quite... hahaha). Monopoly was too diversed- we started off with 7 players yada yada yada.

And then I start to flashback to the ages whereby I was 5 and 6. I used to stay there for the entire day until my dad came to pick me because there was no one to take care of me after my grandma's departation. Thus I had really memorable times with my cousins and the Bukit Batok area despite resenting the West Side of Singapore.

I remember going to the Kidnergarden there, in fact I still remember some of the names of the kids I kinergarden-ed with. Wonder where they are, how they are doing now.

I remember taking the Soya Bean desert and mixing it with the drink. I remember lots of stuff. And it's a lot of deja vu. Also because the area around Janice's house conincidences to be one of the routes during the March Camp expedition (read it in March 2005 archives).

So yarh, brings me to the end of this entry. Sorry for any gramatical errors or spelling errors. All errors are UNintentional and are all caused by the spirit of Bochup.

And yay! I finished the Hundred Secret Senses by Amy Tan today!

Yesterday was an immensely pleasant day. I got my first photography shots in front of the school (the previous one was the EMD2005 which all the photos were totally crap). I think I did pretty well, being daring, climbing on to the stage and all. I think I kinda irratated some of the CO people. Hahaha. Mdm Tazneen released me early, thank god. I should really (really) keep to my new year resolution of doing my best to the reformation to Media Club.

The day was showered with shimmering sunlight, with gentle breeze. I was awaiting the bus (any bus) to Parkway. Ian, Muyao and Samuel were there already. WE ate at Yoshinoya and had the Something Something Something meal. And they had this blossom tea. Haha. Samuel is not a person who enjoys fear factor. Inside the tea were dried flowers and I started mashing all up. And everyone was like Ewww...

Browsed around in Best Denki and Harvey Norman, creating trouble and toying with their gadgets. I have always been a little guilty at doing that.

And since almost everyone has a wishlist, I shall come up with one too =)
-all expense paid trip to India (i want to see the taj mahal yada yada yada)
-all expense paid trip to Dubai, UAB (I want to go for the sand dune ride, stay in that mercedes fleet hotel yada yada)
-all expense paid trip to Vietnam (since almost everyone is going there)
-13.3 inch iBook which isn't released yet.
-Some PDA phone
-Altec Lansing inMotion iM7
-500 bucks worth of Borders Gift Cards
-500 bucks worth of Kino vouchers

That would all amount up to about 15K so you can just pay me 15K. Terimah Kasih!

My blog looks extremely fine in Safari! The white fart part stretches all the way to where the third path ends. I am extremely pleased with Safari and more importantly- the Macintosh. Yup, I'm in the Victoria School Media Lab now, blogging my heart out. Actually I'm waiting for my photos to be uploaded into Flickr as stinking Oswin took the camera home, thus I shall cannot upload it at home.

I have finished my 6th book of the month! Apparently Mr Mole had his freaking house burnt down because of some crazy feminine arsonist. And that was the ending to Adrian Mole: The Cappucino Years. A very creative way to end aye? I should b proceeding to Weapons of Mass Destruction (which I bought from Sans Bookshop Tampines in November) but its a pretty thick book and I would like to finish a fresh new one by January.

Currently reading The Hundred Secret Senses written pretty long ago (1997 if I'm not wrong) by Amy Tan from Kinokuniya Kuala Lumpur. It has been dragged for a super long amount of time- I bought it last June. I gave it 2 reading attempts but never finished it. I shall try again right from the fecking start.

I am also till chapter 5 of Th Dawn Treader by C.S. Lewis in the Chronicles of Narnia. Hope to finish that one ASAP.

So yarh, I think I'm being a reading freak. Should I finish those 2 books by January, I would have read 2 books a week.

New Photos on Big Fat Smiles: Flickr! I notice the fact that I have been taking aliking to using chinese names for my photos recently. Are my roots pulling me to this weird amusement? Ahh! I'm turning chinese! Haha.

Well, chinese photos include 魚 and 出苗. Happy browsing!

Pretty boring and uncontentful entry. Sigh.

I feel myself being isolated from my primary school. I wonder if my alma mater mates feel the same. But when I first entered Victoria I was determined to keep in touch with this batch of totally cool and fun people- meeting with them regularly and so forth. I remember talking to Adri and asking him about his regularity of meeting his primary school friends and his response was twice a month. And I thought I could achive that.

But now I feel myself being dragged away from the old school that I used to be in. I mean, everything's changed. I read their blogs and I don't know what the heck their talking about, or how can they act this way yada yada yada. And I start to realise that people do change. I mean metamorphosis appears in everybody- whether it's good or bad. And the school (building+people) has revolutionised too. The teachers, people yada yada yada. I don't know ADP anymore.

I doubt I'll be coming for this year's Chinese New Year and such. I have not sent a single SMS/IM/email from anyone from my primary school. I have not contacted a single person. And I find myself lugged from them onto an Island where only Victorian, churchpeople and other social circles dwell. I really thought keeping that close touch in me like what Ms Ong said before was graduated was possible. Apparently she was quite wrong, in my sad case.

In fact now I even wish to move to the east. I mean, I have been staying in this Admiralty-ian estate for a decade! More than half of my life was spent here. And as other people metamorphosis, I have to transition too. I can't stick in the same phase of my life the whole life. I can't stick to this grubby part forever.

I just hope that all you guys out there- whoevers reading my blog- will remember the good times. Although we don't keep contact, keep in touch or show any sense of communication, please keep those memories close to your hearts. Just like what I'm doing.

I admit defeat. (and thank god for photos)

AEP Batch 2005 (or 1992) is going to Guangdong this December. It will cost 500bucks and I'm praying that we can use Edusave to pay for it because I really have other stuff to pay for. Like if BB is going to Australia this December. And my trip to New Zeland with my parents this June if I'm going. Or the Fever06 to a cool country (which I am still dying to find out) if I'm going. So yea, there are a lot of places that I might be heading to this very eventful year of 2006.

And I'm packed dead this week. Like totally. There's the OPWS thing tomorrow- hopefully chasing away the Monday Blues (I hate Monday Blues!), there's the Art Lesson with the Sec3s on Tuesday which I'm still considering whether I should go because there is MC Meeting on that day also. And there is something on which I forgot what it was on Wednesday, and then theres the Photoshop class with Shuib on Thursday. OH yarh, there's a Media meeting with Stanford Press after OPWS. And there's also Adventure Quest on Thursday. And there's a free Friday (I love free fridays). And that's for school only and I'm very sure there were things I missed out. Theres a Maths test on Tuesday, Chinese test on Wednesday and Physics test on Thursday.

Then there's church.

Sometimes I wonder if I have commited to the Victorian Leadership culture too early. I mean I'm actually helping out at the Monitors' Council in Sec1. And I'm staying back late later than most Sec2s on an average basis. And then theres this and then there's that.

My grandad has came back from Donguan, Guangdong, Guangzhou, China on Saturday morning. I'm trying to adapt to him- speaking in my lacklustre cantonese and thank god there's eric (hong konger) helping me- just that he's cantonese is probably too (TOO!) pro. He has just been admitted to the hospital today. After a Singaporean residence of 2 days. He's 80 and please keep him in your prayer list =) It's because of some uninary track thing or something larh.

So yarh, I'm troubled about everything. EVERYTHING. The main concern is probably the MC Meeting or Art Lesson.

It has been 27 days since I just last watched a movie- which was the Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe. Today I watched something very un-child and un-fantasy and un-innocent- Memoirs of a Geisha. So here is the Big Fat Smiler's review.

Perhaps it is the cultural indifference or the cultural ignorance or something. But how can Hatsumomo (played by internationally renowned actress, Gong Li) be a celebrated geisha? I don't know, but based on what I have saw in this movie- geishas are elegant, skilled and professional individuals that no one despises (according to what I saw in the film hor). But Hatsumomo had her fringe messily drooped down her face almost all the time, and she looked sleazy and cheap. Isn't she more of a prostitute than a geisha? My gawd...

So anyway, I don't know why Straits Times had this segment of the article (on Memoirs of a Geisha) commenting on the English spoken by the 3 chinese actresses in the show. But I find all the Englishes really cool- with this Asian accent and stuff. I mean this is how you distinguish from the actual Japanese (you don't think they were speaking English in those times don't you?) and the English spoken by the Americans. And besides, the Asian English gave a special touch to the movie.

But Memoirs of a Geisha truely gives a good deal for money. The Director of Photography did a wonderful job- the scenes were truely beautiful. From the daily sunrise/sunsets reciding with the authentic Japanese tower, the beautiful gardens help by the General, the garden that Mr Chairman and Sayuri met in in the last scene and the scene whereby Sayuri was running through the tablet formed tunnel from the temple. Throughout the movie I was thinking: I wish I could be there so I could shoot everything down.

There was History today. I think History is a total hypocrital subject. I wrote tonnes of sentences that I didn't even mean. I mean in the Journal there was a question asking "How is this lesson relevant to you," and it totally isn't even relavant to me! Why look back and know which sultan goverened Singapore when Singapore was under the Jorhor-Riau sultanate yakitty yak when someone said to look into the future and not back to the past? So yarh, became a hypocrite despite the fact that Jesus dislikes it and wrote "This lesson has A LOT of relevance to me..."

Yups, tomorrow theres the drill nightmare again and I wonder when it will end. Someone save me from this terror please.

Edge tomorrow! Net today! Church on Sunday!

This disastrous and faux pas was due to the spirit of bochup and laziness. Or maybe it has its good points too. Probably because when you just step into the New Year, you are in this fiesta mood and can't really think properly- offering all sorts of nonsensical and meaningless resolutions you probably can't fulfill. Thus, after going through weeks of 2006, I have came up with sensible and achievable resolutions =)

1) I will understand political situations better by listening to political podcasts, blogs and media before commenting on political issues. I mean, this is really important. The reason why I preferred Lian Zhan over Chen Sui Bian in the Taiwan Elections last year was because Lian Zhan spoke nicer chinese. What rubbish.

2) I will make an effort to do proper studying and reflection. Te past 19 days has proved my mentality of thinking that I have a studious personality wrong. In fact I have never been really studious. PSLE did not contain any hardcore study, SAs last year didn't get any either. Thus I better get the momentum starting now since I'm probably not aplying for the IP thus having to take the GCE 'O' Levels.

3) I will read more. I only read 29 books last year! That's only about 2+ a month! I hereby now strive to read a book week =) Although I have only read a book since the start of the year *looks around in terror*

4) I will TRY to spend lesser on entertainment. Entertainment being CDs, movies and stuff.

5) I will be more intellectual- reading more intellectual books (like Pride and Prejudice, blah blah...), watching more intellectual movies (like Memoirs of a Geisha blah blah), listen to more intellectual music (like Five for Fighting and not teen pop stuff blah blah), listen to more intellectual podcasts (Israelisms! blah blah) and I guess that's about all...

6) Be more active in church and closer to God.

7) Getting more enthusiastic for BB

8) Do my best for the reformation of the Victoria School Media Club

9) Remember to at least send SMSes on People's birthdays.

10) Do my weekend homework on Fridays (which was highly UNsuccessful for the past 2 weeks)

Yup, and 10 resolutions for the year of the Dog =)

Like any other Chinese festivals- I have addictions. On Lantern Festival I had cravings for Mooncakes everyday. On Dumpling Festival I stop by at the Admiralty Wet Market to get a dumpling or two. On the Tang Yuan festival (tang yuan festival???) I eat black sesame tang yuans for dessert every other day. And lastly... the celebrated Chinese New Year!!! What's CNY without PINEAPPLE TARTS???

Due to the unique personality I have, I don't crave for any pineapple tart just like I don't crave for any tangyuan, dumpling or mooncake. I always take the black sesame tang yuan. The pork dumpling and the SNOWSKIN, NO EGG mooncake. So for the PINEAPPLE TART... I enjoy the COVERED BUTTERY one! Not the exposed one horh- with all the pineapple showing. I like the covered one =) I eat it everyday =)

Oh well, more tomorrow! Have more to share =)))

and I think I'm beggining to gain interest in Israeli politics. If you would notice- Israeli politics is very interesting. Not does it just contain the usual juicy and dirty suff you find in Taiwan or any other country (politics is, after all, a dirty thing), it contains cultural, religious and bilateral issues . The uncontinuos prejudice agasint the Jews- a group of God's chosen people is carried forth in Israeli politics. Together with new Israelis from other countries (Charlie and Carol) and Israelis who are Jews but are not of Jewish faith- Messianic Jews or something like that. Plus the spring of new parties- including those who are part of that religious war of sort, and opposition and protection from neighbouring countries- Israeli politics is an interesting affair.

So anyway, I am now an avid listener of The Israelisms Podcast *beams at self*.

I have also (just) noticed about this "how much your blog is worth thing" on Techorati.



And apparently my blog is worth $18, 629.82 dollars in who knows what currency. I have no idea how this is calculated. Apparently it is not random because I have checked it several times to insure my good luck but it has always stayed there. Xiaxue's, is, apparently, a whopping million plus. Lols, but I doubt Big Fat Smiles isn' worth that much =)

The Mentorship program with Nanyang primary has yet again been postponed- it has been 2 pathetic weeks. So yarh, I kinda like the idea of mentoring young cute and innocent primary 5 students because I remember interesting mentorship programs I had with seniors from various schools too- in my primary school days.

The yearly Chinese camps held in my alma mater. It used to be a yearly affair for Primary 4 students and ex-Admiralties will be asked to help out as facilitators at those camps. Sadly, no one has called me so far to help out or anything =( Perhaps it's because of my lack of ability in the Chinese Language which others are so apt in.

In Primary 4 was the Primary 4 Leadership camp- which was probably included in most inspiring stories I wrote on why I came to Victoria School. If you haven't heard it, well, Victorians are mostly the camp instructors for camps at Admiralty. You have to get the green light from your teacher should you want to be a camp instructor though.

And there was the Leadership N7 cluster 2 day camp held for prefects and student leaders in the N7 cluster primary schools. I remember really nice facilitators then- mostly from Evergreen and Si Ling secondary. In fact I still have some of the que cards that they gave me at the end of the camp to sorta encourage me should there be any hurdles in my life. Sadly, I did not use those inspirational quotes for any of the hard times I have experienced- including the horrible PSLE, first Secondary SA yada yada yada.

American Idol has started! Yay! I shall drown myself with AI from now on =)

P/s New photos on Flickr Big Fat Smiles!

If someone would to run up to me (the Big Fat Smiler) and ask me how would I desrcribe my day in just ONE word- I would say fruitful. In fact ever day should be a fruitful one- after all, you only have a certain time of life to live. This certain span given to you by God and expecting you to live it to the fullest. So you tell me- should everyday be a fruitful day?

To start with why it is fruitful, there were many Tuesday lessons today- Elementary Mathematcics- 4 periods of that, English Language- usual 2 periods, Higher Chinese Language- usual 2 periods again, History- longest two periods of my life and Maths. It's quite horrible to think we have 4 periods of Maths on Tuesday. Now I declare it the most destable day in the week.

Had lunch with a lot of people today- actually started out with me, Oswin, Ban Liang and Li Zhi. Then Jian Han joined in, then some other seniors. I have no idea what is the Victorian culture of lunching- perhaps it's just eat with the people you see first and know well or you eat alone. Or maybe it's something else. But in Admiralty lunch was really a time for class bonding- the were tables for each class. Except that 70% of the class would be rushing into the hot parade square, dropping their water bottles at the sides and running, playing catching, ice and water or vampire like crazy.

I think I'm growing closer to Li Zhi. Oh right, Li Zhi is this nice guy from 1A who transferred to 2E because his art is probably freaking good and Mr Liong recommended him since there's a free space ever since Li Chao became a Canadian. Judging from his work displayed at the previous art lesson- I would have to say it's impressive.

Oswin is really unhappy now because he can't watch the movie with me and Kundan and probably Li Zhi this Friday. Reason? Compulsory band practice. I think Band is getting into Oswin's head. He stays back at school until 6 every day practicing pieces with horny band people. And now that he's oboe is under prepare repair- he's getting horny cranky and crankier. He is free, on other days but Kundan is only free on Friday. The reason why I did not want to watch in on other days because Fridays have a significance. I still remember having a church tee saying "Thank god it's Friday, Saturday and Sunday," and Hilary sang "Wake up, wake up on a Saturday Friday night" and all teens would be probably hanging out on Friday- not on Monday or Wednesday.

Saturday would be the next possible resort but Saturday would be a no-no day for me until AQ is over. Like Josiah, my Saturdays are packed, rushed, hungry and tired. At least Mr Chairman has a time to go home and bathe, I don't! I have to rush to church immediately probably without doing cool down exercises. But I guess this would be the consequences of being both active and enthusiastic in both school and church. It's not that I'm regretting or anything but I really hope for some relieval of these consequences. After all, AQ only ends in April. I'll be dead by then.

Stayed in school till about 4+ today- really earlier than yesterday. I think I'm getting the camping blood in me- influence 100% from Bryan. I really hope I won't go crazy and stay till super late in school every day. I mean, going home at about 4+ like today would be the perfect timing. The bus not yet getting overcrowded, still able to see the sun set, eating dinner at proper times, reaching home in 1.25 hours (it's usually 1.5 hours and that's not a big difference)... Had various help in Maths homework from Seniors- haha. It's funny how you can't really grasp the basic after you pay attention to the advanced after a period of time.

Went home and had a good chat with someone I used to be not very comfortable with. I guess the judging spirit- after what Jian Han told me today- is wearing off. God's work had to do with it too, of course. And I think I'm totally enjoying Victorian culture and Victorian life now. Sadly, I have not enough time to do everything- having me to skip certain stuff.

Oh well, you can't have everything in life. Big Fat Smile people!

(and to timor team- Spirited people! Spirited!)

Here am I with homework unfinished and my fingers on the keyboard. Is that weird? I guess- after all schoolwork should always be put before blogging. So anyway, shall drop a super quick post- typing super fast now, before I proceed to my humongously untidy table.

Today was quite a busy but slack day. I mean, I wanted to finish my homework in school, but mr lim miao miao tempted me to taking photographs with him. Actually that should also be counted as homework because I'm taking photography module for art. But I kinda solved that part already. If I weren't so busy I would have probably uploaded all the pictures I wanted to upload into Flickr =(

Was on the MRT today and saw this really cute baby- or toddler rather with his father. And he was really cute- kinda like of sikh blood and the baby had really cute eyes. And I was looking at the baby, he was crying, then laughing, then looking adorable with those adorable looking eyes and I was thinking of the innocence a child can have. And then a verse from the bible just struck me, it was something about that you can only enter the kingdom of heaven should you, as an older person regain the innocense of a child. A little harsh if you think of it but still, very meaningful. After all, how can a scheming, deceithful adult older people who sins enter the kingdom of heaven? Food for thought...

Apologies if I had offended anyone with the above statment made.

A certain friend of mine msn-ed me today. She said that she had friends who had crushes on VS Boys. And she asked if I could lend her my yearbook (probably so that her friends could look at those VS Boys) and I told her no because every Victorian would treasure their yearbook, I mean which student wouldn't? And the yearbook was paid by us- $7. And to top it off, I spent almost the whole of my November holidays designing the yearbook, going to school at about 9 and reaching home about 7. And if the picture of one girl's crush came out before their very eyes, what do you think they'll do? I mean seriously. They'll probably rip of all the pages or something. And once I said no (I believe there are enough reasons to say no) she "fine"d and "whatever"ed me, and our conversation on msn has not continued until now. I think the worse thing about this entire horrible part was that this fine young lady was the very same friend whom I spent most of my primary school life with yada yada yada.

I guess people do change? Or is it just me judging too hard? Comment people!

Green is the color of nature- green leaves, leaf insects, green flowers, grass, green grass, green roots, green whatever, green greens, and also the color of every child's favourite food! Veggies! Green is also the color of bills in the US and the 5 dollar note in Singapore. Despite the fact that we should not embrace greed, everyone must agree that money is essential for survival. I mean a daily neccesity like brushing those white teeth will not be possible without a toothbrush and toothpaste, which means money.

Green is also the color of my church's youth ministry. We wear green at church events yada yada, probably because green represents youth itself. Looking at green plants and nature lets your eyes relax and your vision gets better. Green is such a beautiful color.

There was a time in my life where everyone had a favourite color. Everything had to be in that color and when mommy brought you out to buy a new bag or pencilcase it had to be in that color too. Mine, like many others boys at that time, was blue. I mean I didn't know why I only liked blue. Did you know that not only was my pencilbox blue? Together with it, I took out the ink parts of my red, purple and green pens and put them in the blue casing. To differentiate them, I labelled them in BLUE ink. Pretty crazy huh? Even my eraser color had to be blue- I printed a new cover for my eraser because the cover was green.

Looking back at that innocent phase of life I feel immensely amused at my exhorbitant spendings of both allowances and effort put in to create my perfectly blue pencilcase.

Now? Actually Wendy had asked me what was my favourite color before, but now that I have somehow matured from that period, should someone ask me that question again I would have no answer. Or I'll just probably say I don't have any favourite color or I love all the colors. I mean, seriously.

What would happen if our beautiful earth had only consisted of the analogous blue? Just blue, shades and tints of it. I mean won't it be boring? Just looking at blue everyday? God gave us plenty of colors for a reason.

So meanwhile, I shall begin to embrace all colors =) And currently I'm doing green.

So I hope you enjoy the long period of time where Big Fat Smiles will be Growing Affectionately Green!

Sounds so chim right? My title, haha. Actually I was really feeling angry yesterday, frustrated and all and through today and last night I thought about it, prayed about it, wrote about it did whatever I could about it and finally came with a conclusion that made me change my view about many things. As a blog is a public space, I shall not disclose stuff that is potentially hurtful or offensive in anyway to anybody thus I shall not dwell on this subject any manner.

When you quit a game you, can always open the program again, so right now I'll open the program again to be a Big Fat Smiler =)))

I have a newly written profile! 99% free of gramatical and spelling errors! Click on the profile link above this page to read more xie xie. And I would also like to take this opportunity to thank all the 32 people who visited my blog yesterday and contributed to my super-long-never-have-already 50 over hits. And even when I have not updated today because of Saturday's hectic schedule 36 individuals have come to read my nonsensical blabbers intellectual essays. Thank you for your support everybody!

Today, almost like any other Saturday was a hectic day. Started of with the weekly affair of the Boys' Brigade parade. Drill today was worst than the last and according to my prophecy it will get worst and worst until I finish the badgework. We marched who-knows-how many times around the freaking basketball court and around 11 today. Then came soccer. Those who know me will also know that I am absolutely not an atheletico. I suck at sports except for some which I enjoy. So we played under the sun for 45 minutes, suprisingly my hair wasn't hot at all, I think Singaporean temperature is getting weird.

Ran 2.4 kilometers 2 days in 1 row! So pleased with myself =)

Alright, it's late now and I should really get to the part about designing new buttons for my template. Explanation of my new skin tomorrow!

Later =)

My disapearance for the past 6 days has been due to some reasons which I probably would not tell- due to reasons- nothing negative of course =)

The disappearance also proved a little harsh on me- the new MacBook released without me knowing until someone told me. Which I wish he never did because it has got me super jealous- I mean who won't want a Mac? Seriously. I bet 80% of the netizens would fall for Mac once they get a trial one for 10 days.

Me? I'm still dreaming for my affordable iBook =)

I think my interest in Photography has taken a leapt since I started with Photography as a module for the Art Elective Program. Of course I'll never be a photo genius who has countless camera like kifo but the title of an Amatuer Photographer sounds very desireble (is that how you spell it?) After all, photography will come handy in the future I wish to be in. Of course ambitions are wildly changing. I still remember writing...


And I hate the word future, I don't know what is his plan for me and I wish to know but I know I'll never know. Not like Macbeth who had 3 witches. Where are my? What's my future? Do I get into VJ? What's my position in the council when I'm Sec 3? Will I study Mass Com? Or?

I really shouldn't rush the process, but here I am killing myself with my 2 pennies worth.

And there are new Sec 1s now. Cute Sec 1s with cute faces. I wonder if I was like that last year. I hope not. There's parade tomorrow and there'll be sec 1s. I have no idea if I can perform up to standard. Not that that matters anyhow but I'm just sick of thought.

I guess this entry doesn't seem Big Fat and Smiley. But sometimes I really don't want to be Big Fat and Smiley.

And I think everyone thinks of me like that. Since primary school people have been calling me Mr Sunshine. And in Victoria when I came up with the blog Big Fat Smiles it didn't mean to be representing Happiness or some Carebear shit but to reveal the smile. So morbid right.

I don't feel Big Fat Smiley. I think I'll quit being the Big Fat Smiler. I think I'll quit everything.

Happy Friday the Thirteenth.

and sometimes I wonder why I'm not. I mean like Harry's now a JL, Ian's now in IP, Muyao's struggling with the A Maths, Oswin is now officially in the Band whatever, Sian Ying is having to climb to the fourth florr (it looks nicer than floor doesn't it? I shall spell floor as florr on BFS from now on =) ), yada yada yada.

And today, on the 1st Saturday of 2006, on the 7th of January 2006, I got promoted to the rank of Lance Coporal! Without ANY promotion performa, without ANY interview, without ANY peer evaluation! I think god know's I want it badly enough. The only bad thing is that I wont't receive my badges till Award's Day and that means my Rank will looking freaking empty on BB Day when I wear it because I only have one pathetic badge. =(

So anyhow- this is how I spent my first Saturday of 2006:

The first parade! Scary. Totally. Horrible Officer Calvin abandoned us! And pushed his Officer IC-ship of BB Batch 2005 to Officer Herman! Now I am counting the days I have left on Mother Earth.

The entire parade today was filled with Drill. Not that I dislike drill but I doubt the word drill excites anyone. The first part of the Parade which usually starts with PT (otherwise known as Physical Training) was replaced by Drill because of the coming Awards day when I'll receive my badges to fill my rank (Yay!) After the Drill practice came the Muster parade (however it's spelt) where we are to assemble in a drill like manner for officers to inspect our uniform. Fortunately and Unfortunately they did not inspect our uniform- fortunately because it saved us having everyone's uniform to be check and the knock-it-downs but unfortunately because I did polish my stuff last night.

After the Muster parade came the Drill Badgework where we leanrt more Drill stuff. Horrible. The entire1+ hours was horrible. Too horrible to describe =(

Kays, tired now.

Shall blog a long time later.

Sayonara, Adios and Goodbye.

, thus my blog looks bloody naked. He's crying because he's too embarassed right now. I know he's a he because, erm, things like this should be rather left UNSAID in a blog like mine. Right now, I'm putting BFS-y's (that's his nickname =) ) clothes and uploading them up to Flickr which is a much more reliable host (partly because I PAID for it) and then letting him wear them again. Hey! He's stop crying since I said that =) Well, he's still embarassed and concealing though.

Hey! It's Friday again! Happy Weekends people!

am trying to modify an entirely different template but HTML- though touching it since October last year is still quite greek to me. However, I did come out with a banner for my new template (if that will ever happen) below!

Quite nice rite? Haha. Click on it for a better view.

Had the first AEP lesson of the year today. New teacher. New module. New scheme. New student. New room. New cameras. New macs. New yada yada. So yarh, the first term's module will be the photography module *laughs at sec 1s having to do painting now!* which is exactlly what kifo left the dear Victoria School for. Right now, we're using super noob and consumer cameras- some Canon Powershot 4.0 megapixel one. Which is quite sad- I hate the "noob" label. After all, I am a pro in the Flickr world okay (which is highly weird- haha)

One of our new AEP teachers- another ex-graphic designer- was the one who is teaching us AEP. Didn;t really learn much today- just average stuff like putting the battery in, connceting your dear Cnon powershot to the computer blah blah. Which probably isn't photography at all but rather sort of like a Canon-conducted Know Your Camera Class. Whatever.

Mdm Radiah, after a long break of pregnancy/maternity leave and an MC for viral infection, finally returned. I pray to God that no mishap will come to her as I really don;t want to have 4 English teachers a year all over again. We were doing Journals today- and touched on travel journals. The fact is that I never realised travel journals were all written in the present tense. Apparently it is quite difficult but I shall try to master.

singingEVERYWHERE! the travel journal edition and revised
Exhausted and tired would be words used to described me. Hopefully I'll be able to catch a short nap on the bus later on. Apparently this is going to be my firstm village experience, however, due to the extreme exhaustion my pathetic body is facing this very moment, I can't really get that excited over it. Viewing the art gallery earlier in the day and visiting the Santa Cruz cemetary really took a huge piece out of me.

Oh my god. It's so difficult to write lorh. I give up. Lol. Anyone wants to show me your proness in the Business language? Please give me your URL when you write it okay? Thanks!

Kays, I better go and revise the History crap before meet the wrath of You-Know-Who tomorrow. Bye people!

On this day I finally felt settled. I have finally got over the fact that I'm no longer the Sec1 anymore and no longer the youngest of the Victorian Family. This has taken far too long- probably because it's my first Victorian promotion to the next standard and that in my primary school, inter-batch activity and relationship was pretty sparse, like the grounds of the rainforest vegetations. I also miss Geography.

However, ever since the first day of school I never felt big fat smiley anymore and don't know if that's a good thing. I don't think maturity has hit and I don't hope it will- won't want to be old- but I just don't feel like making people laugh and all that crap. I did, however, laugh a lot today, in Miss Jennifer Koh's Literature Lesson. My predictions and forecasts were correct, my senior's were speaking the truth and my friends shared the same thoughts at me- I believe the entire 2E enjoyed her lesson today.

It's really ironic that when I finally settle in my brain that I'm a Sec2, people come and tell me that I don't seem Sec2. Okay, maybe not people, but again it was from someone whom someone told him/her that I didn't seem Sec2. *ahem* I think this paragraph is very wrongly phrased but heck it anyway.

My chinese teacher- one whom I have never encountered before except on the first lesson with her is definitely not the cream of the crop in her trade. For one, she strays terribly too much from what she was originally speaking about- she took 2 entire periods (aka a day's lesson) to speak 2 (2!?) miserable zi yus. Yi rong slept in her class, Eric and Hao Kang felt like sleeping yada yada but nevertheless- I am determined to perform well in chinese and stay in the special stream (thus not having to take chinese in jc- yay!) this year.

Mr Ng- one of the ICs in BB was my science teacher. 1/3 of the BB Batch 2005 hoi polloi was in my cllass thus during the introducing-yourself-and-your-cca part of the class today he was like saying- oh so this is where all my BB boys are hiding. Haha. He is teaching Physics but I prefer last year's Mr Imran. We shall see how it goes though.

There are other teachers I wish to talk about but mostly their not worth anything to talk about- just normal average teachers in your normal average school. Tomorrow there's art, so I'm praying that our new AEP teachers will be nice.

So long, farewell. As I hopefully return tomorrow.

Sometimes I don't understand why I'm concerned about what people say- whether its good or bad. I have received good comments from people (almost everbody does- whether their sincere or not nobody really knows till the very end), and of course bad ones- though usually not directly- having me go trhough a certain media to find out certain stuff, which, obviously most of the time I really wish I didn't find out. And of course I really enjoy hearing the good comments and having to shrug it of with modesty (who doesn't?) but no one ever appreciates the bad ones, let alone someone like me. But the fact is that I think we should only take note of the bad ones that are really sincere and those that come out of people for other negative reasons should be just cast away and not concern over it. But I can't do that. I really think I should. But I can't. I hope this will change, soon enough and hopefully God will do most of the work.

On the train today I heard SonicFlood's Everlasting on thier Third album, This Generation and a verse striked something in me:

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
*faints*



*regains conciousness*
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
*faints again*



*repeats this cycle for eternity*

*one eternity later*
I am dead! Victoria School decided to change the Sec 2's first semester curiculum to History, Lit and D&T! Did I hear History? Yes?!

It wouldn't be too bad but Mrs Raj is teaching 2E History!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Please let me regain sanity oh god! Please! I pray! Pray!

I pray! Give me sanity!

(and of course an A1 for History =) - which will probably never EVER come, I am so dead)

*dies*

This entry has to be the most procastinating entry ever in my entire life. I starting typing this on the 30th but was like too tired to continue. Woke up super early on the 30th to go to school and slept quite late crapping and watching teevee. But really didn;t have the energy to type after creating the super cool magazine cover. I think it's cool okay. Then on the 31st was suffering from writer's block, and after writing the BigFatSmilingShoutouts.BlogSpot.Com I was knocked out already. So here's the first entry from BFS in 2006! And to start of the brand new year... we have Viva La Timor Loro Sae- Third Issue! Yay! (Please click to enlarge my proud of magazine cover!)


Editor's Note
This time I put quite a lot of effort into the magazine cover- probably half my time doing the mag was spent on the cover. So I hope you'll enjoy it and enjoy the 2nd last part of the publication. This issue actually sums up the rest of my village experience so it's not really article-ish but more of reflecting and media- unseen Flickr photos and some videos. Thanks to Terence (Lim) my .mov file was converted into a .swf file which is much smaller and easily postable on my blog. I would also hereby like to take the chance to thank him for the IT advice he has been giving me this entire year. So I hope you'll enjoy the 2nd last publication of this magazine.

Once again,
Signing out,
The only member of this getting better publication.

Last Day in Letefoho
The last day in Letefoho was really much of a bye bye kinda thing. And our bonds and
relationships with the senior high school students were strengthened. Once again, my hand was filled up with their autographs, signatures and names. It was, of course not them who offered to sign my hand (with their reticent nature they would never do it) but after my encouragement they gladly signed. I thought it was a cool way because I could take a picture of my hand so it would be kept forever and it was more qin qie than signing on a piece of a4 size paper. Thus from the taken photo of my hand (seen right) you can see names like Maria (which sounds like a nurse's name), Dodi (who is the best friend of Ginger), Jhon which are among the typical names in East Timor. Most of them have very long names but most of them have nicknames so they're mostly called by that.

Below is a Flash File of us playing a nice game whereby they threw the ball from one side to another using the bed sheet *erm* taken from the hotel =) It might take some time- its about 5 mb (5000 kb) so please be a bit patient. You can also click here to view it in a new window.



Departing Letefoho
After giving out the many prizes we had brought to the winners of the game and giving out the remaining stuff we have to give to the rest of the school. Gosh we had so much leftovers! So
we stopped by in the village to give out the bubble stuff! Ruth had got the bubble stuff from Concourse and some children were really pro(fessional) in blowing the strangely smelling bubble soultion. Look at the cover and you will see Mr Middle Man holding a super big bubble. To your left is Ruth and Wendy with village children and their new bubbles! Then out intepreter, Johnny also tried out the bubble thing! I also took a video of that too so all the team people who received my cd will have it inside. Yay +) The photo, if you noticed is taken inside our Pakero thus the weird strip appearing at the bottom right corner of the colored image otherwise known as a photograph (what a load of crap!).

Our 2.5 hour journey to Dili continued as we continued to hand out gifts and sweets to the wonderful hoi polloi (I so like that word- doesn't it sound so cool?) Hearing sounds of Obrigadu and Obrigada, our faces smiled back everytime we handed out stuff to the people. Life there was easy and I seemed to have adapted and taken to this easy lifestyle quite well. No schoolwork, no stressing exams. Life was routine and I enjoy this life. Seeing people and life in a different perspective somehow seemed to have changed the way I thought, did stuff and so forth. Although I won't say I won't waste food again like I occasionally used to, I would say that experiencing the Dilian, Ermerian and Timorese culture has changed some part of me. I won't say for the better or for the worst, but just a difference, though not a quiddity, has been made inside my heart.

So here's wishing everyone a Happy New Year!