Lebensraum

It has been quite a few days since I updated, don't think anyone really bothers actually, apart from the 10+ visitors who still mysteriously appear even though I somehow don't givadamn about my blog sometimes. I don't know why I'm blogging right now since I have like a tonne of homework waiting to be done and it's already 6 o'clock and I want to watch Grey's Anatomy.

Currently listening to the KLove Music Station right now, stupid iTunes does not display the track lists so I'm playing it on Firefox where I can see the pretty album arts too =)

Okay, to scare myself I'll type out my to-do list:

Mathematics 12b
Mathematics WB Worksheet 17
Study for Maths Test
Chinese Si Han
Chinese Zuo Ye
Study for Chinese Ting Xie
Art Drawing of Bark
Art Painting of Bark
Art Painting of Landscape
Completion of Friday's Art Classwork
Chemistry Worksheet
Call VSA
Do Church Mission Testimony Summaries
Do Victoriana 2 Advertisement for article write up
Edit MC EXCO Meeting Minutes
Compile MC Contact list on Excel file

OMG. Nightmares have arrived.

Episode 17
"As We Know It"

Despite the hospital's "code black" and the bomb squad's best efforts, the situation at Seattle Grace escalates explosively. Meredith must work with the bomb squad to save everyone's lives and Derek must perform a surgery under pressure to save a man's life.

-Today's Grey's Anatomy's episode. 11pm Channel 5.

Tomorrow - Opening of The Lake House
31st July - Allowance
5/6th August - Ms Ong's Farewell Thing
9th August - National Day
14th August - Razr V3i
7th September - Devil Wears Prada
12th September - Grey's Anatomy Season 2 Release
21st September - Grey's Anatomy Season 3 Premiere

That's All for now!

I just realised something. The DVD of Season 2 Grey's Anatomy will be released on 12 September. Season 3 premieres on 21 Septemer. That leaves me *counts* just 9 days to have a Grey's Anatomy marathon for Season 2! God save me!

Every prominent blogger on my Blogroll has written their own take on the 130th celebrations held just a few days ago. Like many of my seniors, who described the affair as a "wayang", I thought of it more as an observance. A passe ritual that was to be repeated over 5/10 years. In 5 years to come, a 135th Anniversary would be celebrated- not so grand and conspicuous of course but nevertheless a focussed on event. And when 140 brushes pass, the whole school will be in a reign of excitement and almost chaos again. Of course, no one's complaining.

Free bottles of sparkling juice, lesser educational workload, time off school, special commemorative yearbooks, big figures arriving, more CCA points, more CIP Hours, more boasting rights, prestige, honor. Why not?

Although so, this entire celebration has been an awakening to what I might say as our dwindling Victorian Spirit. I mean, sure, it's amidst our CCAs, but as I glance pass the cohort and the back of the hall while standing on the chair snapping shots of the Spelling Cheer and VS Unite, more than half of our school's hoi polloi were standing awkwardly bemused at the other "more enthusiastic" half cheering their hearts out.

And a not too far away event- our National Cross Country Championships. I remember a time where we as Victorians all enjoyed the presence and atmosphere, continued cheerings and rants. But this year was totally dismal. Even the clip in our Corporate Video showing off our so called "Victorian Spirit" was just but a pathetic Kallang Wave of wimpy Sec 1s unenthusiastically waving their hands upwards.

Is this our esprit de corp? Our Heritage? Our tradition?

Whatever happened to the strong protests against the addition of females in our school population? Whatever happened to the fact that other schools could view us with a school with strong spirit? Whatever happened?

Perhaps, it is just the seniors that are so into this warped hype. Perhaps the little ones have not decided to follow suit. Perhaps, the revival was not to be.

I still long for that camaraderie. Victoria, we are something more.

This week has not been a particularly good week for me- be it spiritual, relational whatsoever. But usually when the spiritual is down, everything else is. I have come to a breaking point to know that in any situation where God is not placed first and honored like he is supposed to, the Holy Spirit, doesn't leave us but kind of withdraws from our being.

And it is just so beautiful that the Holy Spirit, who is God can just withdraw and keep quiet, respecting our wishes when we don't obey him and don't get angry with us, shout at us, or leave us. It is so beautiful that he can give me such a choice, and that he loves me so much, in order to reach to such a state. Just like how Jesus could die on the cross for us and suffer so much.

This week has been particularly tiring, with 130th preparations, the Guangzhou exchange (those people are wonderful people I tell you), and all sorts of crappy shit that pours onto your face like a water fountain. Plus the fact that the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak and I didn't do the devotionals I knew I really ought to I have lead myself into an angsty, disgruntled, tired, overrated, away-from-god, more sinful than before individual.

Into the daily wars inside me, being conquered by temptations and the devil. Letting him rule instead of who I know should sit on the throne of my life. God, millions and millions of times I have asked and begged for the forgiveness I have never deserved. Millions and millions of times I have repented and yet sinned again. Millions and millions of times you have showered your tender loving kindness and mercies upon me. Millions and millions of times you have taken away my guilt and shame. Millions and millions of times you have forgiven me.

I am ashamed to say this Lord, but please, I come into your presence again to ask for the same things. God I never deserved this. And everyone knows that. But Abba Father you are so awesome and merciful, you have brought grace into my life instead of the justice I deserve.

I urge all of you to lead a God-centred, spirit filled life. Lay down your life to him again, like you did before, and let him fill you with his presence. "Ask and it will be given", ask for forgiveness and God will surely give.

He is our provider, our Jehovah Jireh, our ever forgiving, ever loving, ever accepting Lord and Saviour. Ask and he will give it to you- he is that wonderful, that marvelous, that incredible.

Repent, and lead a wonderful godly life. It is beautiful beyond description. Your life will be like never before.

You know the times when you're watching a really great show or movie, and you hear the perfect complementing song that goes with that kodak moment? You then indulge in the perfect atmosphere of the leads kissing with some soft erotic romantic soundtrack playing sensuously in the background. And you immediately want to grab your laptop and google the song and proceed to download it from iTunes but the moment is so perfect you can't get your eyes of the screen?

Then you are so glued to the show that you watch it finish and forget about that song altogether.

Then sometime somewhere you hear it again and wow! That atmosphere just plunges into your heart.

Haha, that's how I felt when listening to Keane!

I love Keane now, but still in Hopes and Fears cuz I can't be bothered to download any more music. That's enough for me to indulge in for now =)

Favorite tracks:
Somewhere Only We Know in The Lake House Trailer and a Grey's Anatomy episode.
Everybody's Changing, this some has some weird similarity with Clocks of Coldplay. Anyone seconding?

Hey yup, here's my testimonial for Keane! There's really some quality music in there so check it out =) Shall get Under the Iron Sea soon.

Charlotte's Web is coming onto the Silver Screen! I'm sure Ms Tan from primary four would be ecstatic to hear this. And there are like so many big names in this production including Julia Roberts, Dakota Fanning, Oprah Winfrey, Jennifer Garner etc. etc. I guess all the stars were all childhood fans of this wonderful fairytale that they're all cramming themselves into this movie even if the pay wasn't good or their role was small (Oprah is only Gussy! I thought she would have been Charlotte or something) It's in post production now, catch the trailer at Apple.com/Trailers. I am so expecting and anticipating it right now. It's arriving this Christmas. Ahh!

Other shows I would want to watch are
The Prestige
John Tucker Must Die
The Devil Wears Prada
The Lake House
My Super Ex Girlfriend
Accepted
Silent Hill (which seems pretty creepy but rather interesting)
How To Eat Fried Worms

Rawr. Most of them are not gonna realeased so soon- soonest being My Super Ex Girlfriend, The Lake House. Anyone interested?

Today I was criticised as over excited blah blah blah by Wendy. All because I acknowledged Jasmine Trias as above mortal (which she is! ahaha).

BUT, the point is I met Jasmine Trias FACE TO FACE today =) Not just like few hundred meters away at a concert but face to face! I even took a picture with her. *swoons in ecstasy*

Okay I know its demeaning for a celebrity like me *haha* to swoon over another celebrity. But that's not the point! The point is that I appreciate another artiste's talent and beauty!



Roarded. That's me (your BFS) and Jasmine Trias! *swoons again*



This was how crowded it was before I managed to meet the above-mortal lady. And she autographed my CD!


AH!

Jasmine Trias! Jasmine Trias! Jasmine Trias! Jasmine Trias! Jasmine Trias! Jasmine Trias!

Here am I, typing on the new Mac with Windows close because it's raining. Mingwei and Alvin just came over (and left) with the eerie story (rather hilarious anyway) of the "我等着你回来" song Ruth played on one of the nights we were planning on what to sing to the Timorese in East Timor. I told him how See Han terrorized me and how terrified I was. Now, sitting here in my brightly lighted room alone, I got the creeps. So much for faith.

I need to pray. Yelp.

Today was rather eventful. Jeremy's blog has a new banner wadever-u-call-it thingy (I won't call it skin because it isn't Jeremy!) which is rather nice. I apologize if I don't tag on your blogs but I do read them. If your blog is on my links list I confirm you I read it.

Yup yup. Sorry for the lack of updates. Haha, I enjoy reading more than writing now. Perhaps I have gone into the Adrian Mole and the Weapons of Mass Destruction Age where Adrian no longer writes but reads. Hee.

Oh, and Shawn+Martin agree with me that iShop's service is better than the blardy AppleCentre@orchard.

Oh, and our class is officially CHEMI-FIED. We are in love with Wong Liang Seng. Science periods are no longer a bore. Hee.

Toodles!

I just realized my inadequacy in my religion. However, God has still extended his scepter, loving me even though I rush through my bible readings, sinned who knows how many million times, chose to honor other things above him and was not sincere towards God. God has millions and millions of people in his palm, but he still has time for me, touching me, refreshing me, and speaking to me- just at the right time when I need.

I was really touched last night at evening service, especially by how he could still make use of a 70 year old lady and so many other people. And I told God in my heart "This are your people oh holy father, these are the people that loves you so much, these are the people that honor you so much. And I probably haven't even reached their level of loving you, and honoring you, and praising you. Yet you can love me like you love them. Yet you can still take note of me even though so many people are so much more deserving than me. Yet you can still shower me with your tender mercies and care. Yet you can still give us your equal attention. God, you truly are a awesome god"

And jumping to the song yesterday:
"Your glory surrounds us
Your favour is on us
We are changed by you

Every promise you've spoken
We're taking hold of
Cuz we know
We know it's true"

I felt I was really jumping for god. And worshipping god. And praising god. And loving god, and not just some poser action we sometimes do as youths. I really felt happy after that, and ministered to, even after all the shit life seems to give us sometimes. I really felt god's presence, I really wanted to just shout out the world how awesome god is.

Maybe it's "The Joy of the Lord is my strength"! Oh how I am ever loving this verse. How I ever love this string of words.

I Love you Jesus!

I shan't say he loves you too although it's true.

I shall say you should love Jesus too.

Just got a writers urge and decided to type even when I haven't finished the research on Graffiti for art, done any of my pathetic social life draining homework or learnt the words for tomorrow's assholic ting xie. I just read Sian Ying's blog dictating her class' sudden compulsion to Taboo which reminded me of the fun and joyous times our youth ministry bunked into a room during church camp or the leste trip or whatever playing that somewhat brainless game. I still remember Wendy's revisiting *ahem* cards which led us to seizures of laughter. Life was good then, and now also. Sometimes I just thank god for giving (blessing, rather) me with such a wonderful youth ministry to be in. This is not the case for everyone though, there is a sinking in time and I hope we can decrease that time as much as possible.

Oh, the wonderful memories of church camp and all the other crappy times.

Haha, a classic kodak bimbo moment. Taking our timoree-soiled shoes in the restaurant of hotel 2001 after breakfast (remember the lousy buffet breakfasts? Ew...) Life was still enjoyable then, right now, I am stuck with melancholic people (George's blog, oh so intellectual but so disgustingly sad and many many more). I have my disgusting relationship giants and I have disgusting homework.

Sometimes missionary work for 2 years does seem attractive (eh bryan? ahaha).

Oh, and I just recalled. There's that another problem too.

Arg.

My life is pathetic. I want to fly away and ask god to take everything. I am struggling. STRUGGLING.

*strangles self*

Okay, enough of the drama, but I'm really struggling. I'm just exaggerating quite a million times more because...

With god anything is possible! Amen?

And the Joy of the Lord is my Strength!

Haha, fire reruns...

Oh, I shall disclose my secret now (nothing to do with the title). Remember my archived entries use to have a signing of signature thingy? And one of them was Jotlims?

Haha, Jotlims=Joy of the Lord is my Strength.

Looking forward to net tomorrow! And edge on Sat! And service on Sun! Ahaha... MY churchical, god centre-ed life.

It's already Wednesday and I'm lagging on the homework. Can I be a better student? Ahaha... seems not! And Oswin thinks I can make it to the best class next year cause all the IP people will be gone. Thinking about it, I never aimed to be the brainiest or what in VS. Maybe because I already was in VS. Crap, the egoist side of me. Can that ever die? *tsk at self*

I'm typing on TextEdit because the text field functions on Firefox seems to be working weirdly. Life is strangely quite relaxed now despite the fact that my to-do list when scrolled out can reach like the other end of the world. I am such a procrastinator. Since it's like that I have to try and pressure myself. Here's my to-do list:

Finish the English Reading Workbook
Study for the Biology test tomorrow
Study for the ting xie tomorrow
Do the Art Research on Graffiti
Do the Zuo Ye and Zuo Wen for Chinese
Call Ms Yip and other VIPs for YFC

That's all I can recall till now. I have decided to be nice. I am uploading my Biology notes here which I copied and typed out neatly on Pages and exported in PDF (yes Pages can do that! Can Word do that? Can it?!) included with almost all the drawings and illustrations that were copied from class and drawn on Photoshop.

Yep. I really charge for that labour. But because I'm nice =) It will only be online for a limited time. Download it as soon as possible. I don't have that much online space.

Click here.
Please note that this is only the Human Body notes, I had somep problem uploading the plants one. *sorry!*

Yep yep. Have been recently troubled over a lot of stuff. The major one being one only. Talked to like quite a lot of people about it. Still have not reached a conclusion. But I feel much better now.

I think Mr Hamilton is angry at me. Because I said I didn't trust his marking. Sheesh.

Oh gawd the disgusting rampages of school life. I will have my child home tutored. Haha.

Okay, I better start on that to-do list. Currently listening to the iTunes New Music Tuesday that was who knows how long ago. Can't be bothered to download the later ones. Anyways here's the track list to show off my musical taste:

Wires by Athlete
Unwell by Matchbox Twenty
Survivor by Destiny's Child
Speed Cars by Imogen Heap
So Sick by Ne-Yo
Say I by Christina Millian
Not Ready to Make Nice by Dixie Chicks
I Used to Love You by John Legend
I Hate Everything About you by Three Days Grace
Give a Little Bit by Goo Goo Dolls
Gallery by Mario Vazquez
100 Years by Five for Fighting
4 Minutes by Avant

Unfortunately I cannot publish an iMix because I do not have an iTunes account. Perhaps you want to browse through iTunes yourself if you want those together?

=)

This is a bitch session about AppleCentre@Orchard.

Unless you absolutely have to get a certain product that is not available in any other Apple Retailer out in Singapore, don't go there.

Cause the service standard is 0. Like really. ZERO.

Now I just wanna thank god that I bought my MacBook from iShop. Let me just tell you that the service standard at iShop is much better. Should you be a student and are just browsing around, familiarising yourself with Apple Products (everyone should have the priviledge of doing that! Apple is for the hoi polloi! I absolutely disagree that Apple is only for the exclusive!), AppleCentre@Orchard staff (they call themselve Mac Evangelists on their namecards *barf*) will ask if you need any help and when you say no they will just give you that weird look and attend to some angmoh.

Generally they treat students as dirt and probably don't give a damn about us probably because they think we have no cash to spend on their lousy products (only AppleCentre@Orchard products are lousy, iShop and all the other retailers are fab). What if we have rich parents? We can buy your pathetic social life away okay.

And I haven't even got to AppleCare. Generally I expect service to be bad at AppleCare. After all who enjoys listening to people moan and groan at their balding products? iShop gave me fantastic AppleCare service however! And it was for an iPod and I didn't get my iPod from there and they didn't know I got my MacBook from there.

AKA they didn't know I shopped iShop.

And their sales personnel just smiled at me as I was browsing their products. Not even an ounce of that don't come here if you can't afford it look.

Hell with AppleCentreOrchard. Get your Apples from iShop people! They had one more star than the condemned in the Straits Times test!