This week has not been a particularly good week for me- be it spiritual, relational whatsoever. But usually when the spiritual is down, everything else is. I have come to a breaking point to know that in any situation where God is not placed first and honored like he is supposed to, the Holy Spirit, doesn't leave us but kind of withdraws from our being.
And it is just so beautiful that the Holy Spirit, who is God can just withdraw and keep quiet, respecting our wishes when we don't obey him and don't get angry with us, shout at us, or leave us. It is so beautiful that he can give me such a choice, and that he loves me so much, in order to reach to such a state. Just like how Jesus could die on the cross for us and suffer so much.
This week has been particularly tiring, with 130th preparations, the Guangzhou exchange (those people are wonderful people I tell you), and all sorts of crappy shit that pours onto your face like a water fountain. Plus the fact that the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak and I didn't do the devotionals I knew I really ought to I have lead myself into an angsty, disgruntled, tired, overrated, away-from-god, more sinful than before individual.
Into the daily wars inside me, being conquered by temptations and the devil. Letting him rule instead of who I know should sit on the throne of my life. God, millions and millions of times I have asked and begged for the forgiveness I have never deserved. Millions and millions of times I have repented and yet sinned again. Millions and millions of times you have showered your tender loving kindness and mercies upon me. Millions and millions of times you have taken away my guilt and shame. Millions and millions of times you have forgiven me.
I am ashamed to say this Lord, but please, I come into your presence again to ask for the same things. God I never deserved this. And everyone knows that. But Abba Father you are so awesome and merciful, you have brought grace into my life instead of the justice I deserve.
I urge all of you to lead a God-centred, spirit filled life. Lay down your life to him again, like you did before, and let him fill you with his presence. "Ask and it will be given", ask for forgiveness and God will surely give.
He is our provider, our Jehovah Jireh, our ever forgiving, ever loving, ever accepting Lord and Saviour. Ask and he will give it to you- he is that wonderful, that marvelous, that incredible.
Repent, and lead a wonderful godly life. It is beautiful beyond description. Your life will be like never before.
And it is just so beautiful that the Holy Spirit, who is God can just withdraw and keep quiet, respecting our wishes when we don't obey him and don't get angry with us, shout at us, or leave us. It is so beautiful that he can give me such a choice, and that he loves me so much, in order to reach to such a state. Just like how Jesus could die on the cross for us and suffer so much.
This week has been particularly tiring, with 130th preparations, the Guangzhou exchange (those people are wonderful people I tell you), and all sorts of crappy shit that pours onto your face like a water fountain. Plus the fact that the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak and I didn't do the devotionals I knew I really ought to I have lead myself into an angsty, disgruntled, tired, overrated, away-from-god, more sinful than before individual.
Into the daily wars inside me, being conquered by temptations and the devil. Letting him rule instead of who I know should sit on the throne of my life. God, millions and millions of times I have asked and begged for the forgiveness I have never deserved. Millions and millions of times I have repented and yet sinned again. Millions and millions of times you have showered your tender loving kindness and mercies upon me. Millions and millions of times you have taken away my guilt and shame. Millions and millions of times you have forgiven me.
I am ashamed to say this Lord, but please, I come into your presence again to ask for the same things. God I never deserved this. And everyone knows that. But Abba Father you are so awesome and merciful, you have brought grace into my life instead of the justice I deserve.
I urge all of you to lead a God-centred, spirit filled life. Lay down your life to him again, like you did before, and let him fill you with his presence. "Ask and it will be given", ask for forgiveness and God will surely give.
He is our provider, our Jehovah Jireh, our ever forgiving, ever loving, ever accepting Lord and Saviour. Ask and he will give it to you- he is that wonderful, that marvelous, that incredible.
Repent, and lead a wonderful godly life. It is beautiful beyond description. Your life will be like never before.
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